March is just around the corner people... that means Spring Break #SKA, possible normal weather, & lots of basketball (DUNK MADNESS!!!). Come watch 20 of your favorite ballers dunk their Fightin' Texas Aggie Rings on March 23, 2018.
****DUNK MADNESS 2018 ROSTER****
Molly “look at this Facebook video”
If she’s not asleep, she’s probably getting a 34 on the ACT and signing her Deloitte bonus. On the 23rd, you can catch her dunking from her Make-A-Wish pitcher because #QueenSongfest. At the end of the night, she’ll be jamming to Shakira and her all-Spanish playlist and prolly speaking Spanish fluently ‘cause what can't she do? She currently lost her phone and she was sitting on it.
Walk up song: Rapper’s Delight- The Sugarhill Gang
Peyton “I was Homecoming Queen” Puckett:
Before our dunk Peyton will be sweeping the stage just like she did all summer #ChiO #RushBallz. If you’re a boy in the Christian Bubble there will be a dual immediately after this dunk to fight for Peyton's heart. Good luck. But be forewarned that her type closely resembles Odell Beckham Jr. in looks and athleticism. ; ) If you need something to woo her, simply bring a candle to add to her collection of 500.
Walk up song: Hype- Drake
Sydney “brb eating cheese” Brignole
A few important facts about Syd: she refuses to wear matching socks under any circumstances and is incapable of sticking out her butt tongue. Her burps are outrageous and if you’re lucky you might catch one after she downs her pitcher on dunk night. If you didn’t know, Syd snagged the current AMC President @trevorpownell. How? Nepotism, because she was already an AMC Sweetheart #LadiesTakeNotes.
Walk up song: Fergalicious- Fergie
Meredith “no taste buds” Scudder
Because she’s so humble, you’d never know her boyfriend of 4 years is a UT Cowboy and future pro golfer @scottiescheffler- and that she looks great in those collared shirts and tennis skirts #supportive. If you get a chance to interact with Meredith tonight, it’s between her burning 4 bags of popcorn and eating expired foods. Make sure to follow her new passion project @cleancollegeeats! Whatever she ends up dunking in, you can be sure that she will find a way to make it healthy too. Regardless of the weather night of, we are sure she will be carrying around her trusty space heater.
Walk up song: Any song by Pitbull
Fulgham “practically famous” Bell
If we’re being honest, close to ½ of the people at this dunk either came just to see Fulgham or know her very well. Her affinity for games and competition will surely play in her favor in this stacked bracket of a dunk. This Dallas girl loves some Chick-fil-A sweet tea, and may or may not have acquired a secret-admirer from her frequent visits to the restaurant where she’s better known as “Belle.” During the day, you can catch her on 10 different Facetime/phone calls, 3 walks with friends, and a Bible study or meal with one of her hundreds of mentees. That’s our girl, Betty!
Walk up song: Careless Whisper by George Michael
Courtney “I run a half marathon 2 days after my dunk” Wetzel
It’s a good thing nobody writes their own bio or courtney would have written a novel #storyteller. In between starting her own business “Gather and Grow” and running Chi Omega as President you can find her seeking “rest” in her perfectly tranquil room. Because of Courtney, sad, normal Mondays turned into MonYAYs via email and via her warm smile.
Walk up song: here comes the sun
Becca “Guys! Has anyone seen my MAROON COAT?!” Polk
Where’s Becca? Making important Maroon coat business calls from her desk wearing a giant purple robe. And don't forget the mom clip! If she's not at her desk, she’s at dinner and breakaway with one of the 5 younger couples her and @cartersmith mentor (applications coming soon). Her resume can only fit on one page if its 6pt font and no margins, but don't worry she is working hard as a “Coat” to choose the next “do it all” humans to go after her. She will tell you she’s with TFA post grad, but we all know the truth…she’s been with the CIA since age 6. She has more prestige in her big toe than all of u peasants combined.
Walk up song: Bow Down by Beyonce
Cora “Alexa STOP!!!” Fanning
You can typically find Cora at a Fish Camp event wearing a bloutfit, unless she’s at a CONNECT event wearing a different bloutfit. The only things Cora loves more than Spongebob are Whataburger patty melts and being eerily knowledgeable about Harry Potter. If you ever want to feel bad about yourself, challenge Cora to a quick round of Mario Kart on 150cc. She enjoys long, slow drives to the far away HEB to avoid crowds and meal prepping hard enough to feed the greater BCS area. Cora loves showing her Aggie spirit through her dedication to the foundations of our university as well as to Foundations Lounge.
Katie “So… Logie’s?” Dillard
When she’s not making straight A’s in her PPA classes #smart you can find her at Logie’s, her fave place second only to WCL. She wakes up everyday and tries to be audit she can be (and she is). When she’s not crunching numbers in the library, boys are crunching her number into their phones. The only thing faster than her typing is the speed at which she replies “yes” when someone asks “SYANG?” While her portfolio is fully diversified, the only diversification her closet has is the different shades of black. Her next plan of action? Simultaneously attending UT law school while opening a Logie’s franchise in Austin.
Walk up song: Goosebumps by Travis Scott
Chandler “I Didn’t Read the Email” Diedrich
If you really need to get in touch with Chandler, make sure to do it via text or call because she most certainly has not read the GroupMe or the email. We are not sure if Chandler has had more hair colors or time in the bathroom perfecting her winged eyeliner. Need a Netflix recommendation? Ask Chandler, who has seen literally all of them (Pawn Stars and Untold Stories of the ER included). You won’t catch Chandler with beer in her pitcher, but we are taking bets on whether it’s Mike’s Hard or Barefoot Moscato. You can always count on Chandler to diagnose you with a terrifying disease not even WebMD could dream up. Chandler Diedrich is truly a modern renaissance woman – rapper, hippie, ex-vegetarian, brief Wiccan, #Virgo.
Walk up song: Feeling Myself - Nicki Minaj, Beyonce
Elizabeth “Crocs” Dewey
If Elizabeth isn’t in her sweatpants and fur lined crocs as soon as she’s home, call the police. You can find Elizabeth checking her DMs from professional athletes and A-listers, and giving them no response. You can find Elizabeth in bed by 8, after she’s finished her 10th avocado toast of the day. If you ever need a beauty product, just check the Sephora store in her bathroom. You will find Elizabeth rollin’ out in her Tahoe, bumping to Taylor Swift or any other song she can shamelessly sing full force while the stereo is just a lilllllll too low. You may not see Dewey on North Gate, but you are sure to find her at the nearest Dominos...getting a large #thicc crust pizza but somehow still looking FINE. When you want to hear a random fact or conspiracy theory you never thought you wanted to know, you’ll find it here. She is beauty, she is grace, every night she has a mud mask on her face.
Walk up song: Look what you made me do - Taylor Swift
Kelly “the other day my aunt’s nephew’s brother’s child did the funniest thing - wait Micah!” Ratcliff
“Okay you guys will never guess what my mom told me on the phone today!!” If you know Kelly you know her family, amirite or amirite. If you don’t know Kelly, all you need to do is google “enneagram” and read the number 6. Then ask her about it if you have 3 hours to spare in your day. Also, if you haven’t met Kelly then you probably don’t know her 5th limb, Micah Bires, either. Don’t worry though! This fun loving couple can still be spotted in the FAIDES office sharing testimonies over office hours! You’ve also probably never heard of Friendswood, Texas, but don’t worry!! They had a petition to stop the building of a Chick-fil-a and our own Kelly girl put it on the map with her small town charm!
Walk up song: Body Like a Back Road by Sam Hunt
Daly “my to do list has been done since 6:30am this morning wby” Witt
Between her professional-grade art, her mentoring of freshman girls, and her doting bf @rickrea, Daly can be found eating her mom’s pre-made frozen meals or Gumby’s pizza. This anthro inspired queen lives for her Netflix series, and can only be found outside of her room for Tone 360 and her one class (we’re not kidding, she’s in 3 hours). Daly will be dunking in her newest obsession, Promised Land choco milk - we’re all about diversity ar ound here.Wish her luck as she attempts to chug more than her estimated body weight in milk.
Walk up song: Marry You by Bruno Mars
Nikki “I thrive on extreme social settings” Germenis
Hola como esta Nikki. Did you know our Nikki girl is kinda bilingual?!?!? (emphasis on kinda). She spends her time serving the brazos valley via immigration offices and youth impact, no not Impact camp. If there’s boys knocking at the door, they’re probably here for Nikki… unless they’re Carter, Patrick or Micah of course. Voted in our PC to be the next Beth Moore, we are looking forward to Nikki kicking off the event with a vibrant worship session and devo. She’ll be dunking in kombucha bc #trendy and #holy but also don’t forget #realsta. Her body is a temple okay!!! But she will toss away her whole thirty for a trip to Chick fil a for you, and that is a true friend.
Walk up song: If We Are The Body by Casting Crowns
Cristi “they call me crispy” Keeter
Cristi is the sole reason HEB is always restocking. This lady works hard AND plays hard (by which we mean she takes down two glasses of Malbec occasionally). Catch her in the H drinking in Beyoncé's ever-present aura or chilling at a Rockets game with that guy Stephen who's been hangin around for SIX YEARS (?!). If you enjoy musicals maybe don't mention it unless you'd like an impromptu acapella performance. Surprised to find out she's not a vegan? Us too.
Walk up song: I’m the One by DJ Khaled
Kaytlen “#sistersonpurpose” James
HOWDY!! Kaytlen is the loudest and the proudest member of the fightin’ Texas Aggie class of 2018! A-WHOOP!!! Want to know any (yes, literally any) random fact about the human body and/or nutrition, Kayt is your gal. Her social media is #onpoint and you could literally make a documentary of her life from all the videos she has taken just over the past 3.5 years. If you see Kaytlen at the dunk be sure to stop and talk to her about life back in Fredericksburg, every song that she has ever done a dance to, or the time she went to the world championship BB Gun Competition in Kentucky.
Walk up song: The Aggie War Hymn
Sarah “Almost Anderson” Williams
Have you seen Jacob? If so, Sarah’s probably somewhere near! She’s only in 6 hours, but don’t worry, she’s not working on her MRS degree bc #BizHon. She also just happens to be an honors student in pristine cooking, funny video watching, and The Bachelor commentary. If she could choose, she’d permanently live in her animal nightgowns and Ugg slippers. What better way to end this bio than with a beautiful quote by Sarah herself-- “Nothing is worse than being rejected…I wouldn’t really know.”
Walk up song: Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson
Maria "meme queen" Sopher
She'd def rather be sitting in her bed eating dino chicken nuggets & crying over the musical brilliance that is Hamilton, but I guess this will do too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Honestly, maria gives zero h*cks about this event cause it has nothing to do with Harry Potter, but maybe she'll summon an empty pitcher and trick all you dumb muggles into thinking she excels at (butter)beer chugging. It’ll be hard to find her in the dunking line, bc she’ll be wearing all camo, i.e. the same outfit she wore in her senior pics #girlswhohunt. She will probs spend the rest of the weekend avoiding hw while coming up w/ “funny” things from teaching to post on her insta story in the upcoming week. BUT… she’s not giving up dr. pepper for lent this year so it’s sure to be a happier 40 days than it was in 2017!!!
Walk up song: Photograph by Nickleback
Lydia ” ‘I don’t wanna get paid to lose’ -Nacho Libre ” Wallis
Even though she will be telling everyone about the dunk, Lydia may or may not remember to actually attend. While everyone counts down in English, Lydia will be internally counting down in Spanish #maysstudyabroad, and then telling everyone post-dunk to follow her sick Spanish “reggaeton” playlist she made. From her high school baton twirling days, she has learned to juggle many things...like the hearts of all the men who love her. On a normal day, you can catch Lydia wandering around MedSci (50/50 studying and daydreaming) hoping someone there will understand her “unique” movie references.
Walk up song: Lip Gloss - Lil Mama or Me Rehuso - Danny Ocean
Adison “is this organic?” Haager
Even though Adison is only in 3 hours, she somehow manages to be the busiest person we know...ask her about her 3 current internships #buildthatresume. This future entertainment reporter will make sure to keep y’all in the loop the night of as she captures “candid” moments on her Insta story.Though she may have once thought the world series had to do with golf, don’t worry because she is fully aware that March Madness has to do with basketball...did we tell you she works for 12th Man Productions #secnetwork #sports?! Post dunk, Adison will downing her assortment of homeopathic vitamins to make sure she's stayin’ healthy.
Walk up song: You Can’t Stop Me (feat. Thomas Rhett) - Brett Eldredge